Yesterday we found six Osamas! We’re trying our best to get them to you but the connection is super slow. Northern Nigeria has plenty of Osamas – it’s just a case of seeking them out sensitively and without causing uproar at the mention of the name. I’ve had the urge to trawl busy markets asking at every stall but, whereas I could probably get away with it at Spitalfields or Borough, it might not be sensible here...

Almost every Nigerian Osama we’ve met has confessed to being a football obsessive. I admit I felt a swell of pride at being British when I heard the names of our home teams spoken with such adoration so far from our chilly little island. It’s forcing me to reconsider my usual stance on football – resigned tolerance. No amount of contempt at the telly being hijacked on match days can detract from the pure, unadulterated joy I’ve seen football bring to these lads.

Kano is a deeply religious city with green signposts on each roundabout inscribed with Arabic praise to God. When prayer-time approaches, people perform their ritual wash – wudu – at any available water source. Often they just use a little plastic kettle of water or even a small sealed sachet, the size of a packet of crisps. You can buy them on the street, and once the corner is torn off, they are carefully manipulated to cleanse face, forearms, head, feet, without spilling a drop. It makes turning the tap off while you brush your teeth seem faintly silly in comparison!