As if the upturning of my entire existence to globetrot for C4 on a banterous mission weren't surreal enough, today I went to Worcester to meet an Osama with mad scratching skills.

The city of the fabled tangy condiment is home to our second Osama - and boy, was he a corker!

A dedicated turntablist with a record collection to make me weep with joy and emotion, his chosen love was one especially close to my own heart.

Despite a journey blighted with delays, lugging heavy kit around, bruised elbows, broken down trains, and worst of all, intermittent showers and sunny spells combined with a notable ABSENCE of rainbows, Masood and I managed to get up to Worcester and home again in one piece.

For a while on the train back, we were quietly overwhelmed by just how immensely cool this Osama was, but eventually the silence was broken by a shared meal reminiscent of playground lunchtimes across our nation: sarnies with a layer of crisps added to the filling*.

Tomorrow, I'm going to try and track my Putney lead and continue the online search. For those detractors who are alarmed by our current rate of... er... one Osama per day, please be assured that we are merely getting the ball rolling. We'll find 500 - just watch us. Or even better, help us.

*I know everyone loves this. Don't even try to front.